You Got It Bad
by Flames101
Summary: After Girl's Night Out gets cut short, JJ receives a Valentine surprise. Written for the Facebook Smut Challenge Group. Rated M for Chapter 2.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hey all! New two-shot featuring JJ/Hotch. This is written for the Smut Challenge Group on Facebook. I had to use both a candy-heart saying (TEXT ME) and the song U Got It Bad by Usher in some way. So, here it is. Chapter 1 is K+ to T-rated. Chapter 2 (which I hope to post tonight) will be the M-rated chapter. Hope you enjoy and Happy Valentine's Day!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 1:**

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><p>"And so I told Kevin, if he wants to get back together, I <em>cannot<em> do the marriage thing, like ever!"

JJ absently nodded her head, adding a faint "Uh huh" for good measure. Her focus was totally captivated and not by the conversation provided by her best friend. Her phone in her hands, she was currently having a very intense text conversation. Except the last message she received was over a minute ago; frustrated was what she was, suddenly.

She knew—on some level, at least—that she was being a horrible friend. Garcia had called for an impromptu 'Girl's Night Out' for the sole reason of procuring advice. Too bad her Girl's Night totally conflicted with the SKYPE call she'd already scheduled with her husband for the same night. Instead of disappointing both parties, she'd settled for a text conversation just so she could appease all.

'TEXT ME!' she typed into her phone, impatient for an answer.

"_And…_ what did he say?" she heard Emily ask after a moment's pause.

"He said, and I quote," Garcia began; JJ kept half an ear open. "'That's fine, as long as you dye your hair green, wear a Flash costume to bed, and buy me a pet monkey.'"

JJ gave her phone a bit of a shake, as if that would make the next text come quicker.

_Why is he keeping me waiting?_ she thought hard at her phone. _Wait, _what? "A pet monkey!" she exclaimed out loud, finally glancing up from the screen.

Emily and Garcia's eyes were both on her. The former looked purely amused, while the latter was a picture of exasperation.

"Welcome back," Garcia stated wryly.

She had the decency to look sheepish. She'd been caught out, after all. "I'm… _sorry?_"

"_JJ!_" the blonde analyst complained; the unsaid 'How could you?' hung between them.

Trying out plausible excuses in her mind, she was totally caught off guard when Emily snatched the phone from her hands straight across the table. "Hey!" she protested.

"Sorry, huh? Who exactly have you been texting all night is what I'd like to know?" her other best friend wondered out loud.

She watched a moment as the brunette started to scroll through her messages before realization kicked in: Emily could _not_ see those messages.

JJ tried to take her phone back, but it was then that Garcia decided to dole out her own payback for JJ not listening by blocking her at every turn.

"Penelope…. Emily, ugh… come on," she argued. "Give me back my phone!"

She struggled a moment more, but the look on Emily's face and the surprised gasp told her it was all for a lost cause.

"What, what?" Garcia caught on quickly.

JJ sat back in her chair like a petulant child as Emily shared what she'd found with the technical analyst.

"Oh my," Garcia breathed out. "JJ…" She looked away from the phone to stare at her with wide eyes under her glasses.

"_What?_" She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting.

"These are totally… _sexts_," the blonde finished, whispering the last word.

"They are not!"

Emily lifted the phone once again. "'Come home now and I'll let you do that thing with your tongue, you know, where you—'"

"Ok!" JJ practically yelled; this time when she reached for her phone Emily allowed her to take it back. "So what if they are? He's my husband and I haven't seen him in a very long time. And… and… I want him bad!"

She joined her friends in a chuckle at her expense. Ok, so she _was_ being a bad friend. A fact she totally blamed on her husband. Only he would choose Valentine's Day to be away on a very important, top-secret mission.

To be fair, he hadn't exactly chosen to go, and he had no idea it would take a month to sort out.

Still, she was frustrated in every way, including sexually. So, blaming him was all she had at the moment. Thus… if he hadn't taken that secret mission, she would have him here to fulfill her every need; then she wouldn't be the sex-crazy, negligent friend she was currently.

Yep, his fault, she settled easily.

"Aww sweetie, you really do have it bad, don't you?" Garcia gushed.

She smiled, nodding. She so did. Sometimes, when thinking about where she was in life right at this moment, it was unbelievable to her. JJ had everything she'd always wanted: a loving husband, beautiful kids, and great friends.

"_I_ just can't believe Hotch can do _that_ with his tongue," Emily stated incredulously.

"Oh, trust me, he can do that and a whole lot more," JJ said.

"JJ!"

She chuckled. "Hey, if you can't handle the heat, get out of the frying pan... or something."

The girls joined her in a laugh.

"What's this about you and Kevin and marriage?" It was time to get the conversation back on track.

Garcia waved her hand in the air. "It's no big deal. Em helped me figure it out."

JJ threw a raised eyebrow at her brunette friend. "Way to make me look bad," she joked.

Emily shrugged her shoulders. "It's not your fault I'm single, need to live vicariously through you two, and therefore have all the time in the world for solving your problems."

Emily wasn't normally a bitter person but that statement treaded very close to something like it.

"Aww…" JJ rubbed her shoulder, sympathetic to her pain.

Emily had recently broken up with her boyfriend, Clyde Easter. The new Londoner was feeling the sting of it more acutely because it was Valentine's Day, and also because of the 'I told you so's' she'd gotten from everyone who knew her or him.

As far as JJ was concerned, their relationship had been born out of a time of chaos and, therefore, could be nothing but chaotic.

Now, her relationship with a certain six foot one, hulking man of chocolate-y goodness was definitely the opposite.

Emily looked at her knowingly. "No, JJ. Don't start, ok?"

"Oh, come on, you and Derek are perfect for each other," she said.

The former profiler shook her head. "Yeah, sure… except, you know, the part where we live on two different continents…"

"Are you saying you and my sweet aren't grown up enough to maintain a long-distance relationship?" Garcia accused.

"No…" Emily backtracked. "What I'm saying is that I don't even like him in that way; Derek's my friend."

"Uh uh." JJ shook a finger in her face, grinning from ear to ear. "See if I were to believe that you would have said that first. You, my friend, are caught!"

Emily, despite blushing brightly, laughed it off. "Whatever… How did we get on the topic of me when you're the one receiving the scandalous texts?"

JJ sighed, allowing the change of subject. Checking her phone once again, there was still no message. It was going on five minutes now without a response to her vivid description of what she'd do to him if he were home.

"He's probably taking a break, taking down an un-sub or something," Emily assured. "Hotch is amazing, sure, but he can't battle the bad guys and satisfy you at the same time."

"Funny, Em," she added dryly. "This was going to be our first Valentines together as husband and wife. I was looking forward to it, you know…"

"If your texts are anything to go by, trust me, _we know_," Garcia said.

She slumped her shoulders in resignation. "I'm not the best company tonight, sorry guys."

"No worries, peaches." Garcia hugged her around the shoulders. She released her only after her phone beeped out a text.

JJ watched as she read the text. Penelope's mouth formed an 'O' shape, throwing Emily a quick look, as well, before she masked it all. But, it was too late, she'd already caught it.

"You know what, I think it's time to head home, anyways," Garcia suddenly said.

She narrowed her eyes at her friend, suspicious; they'd only been out for an hour. Why was she cutting their night so short?

"Going to see Kevin?" she asked.

"Eh, we'll see. We've got nothing solid planned. We decided not to do the Valentine thing until we figured out what exactly _we_ _are_ doing."

"I see." She paused, turning to her brunette friend. "Any plans tonight, Em?"

Emily got off her chair reaching for her jacket. "Are you kidding me? Weren't you in on my pity party a few minutes ago, the one where I'm living through you two?"

JJ sat there looking at the two suddenly eager to depart friends. They were all free for the night so why couldn't they stay out together? She voiced that a second later and got some shifty responses:

"You aren't feeling this." Garcia.

"And, maybe I'll go see what Derek's up to." Emily.

"I completely forgot, Kevin and I do have plans." Garcia, again.

She put up a hand to make them stop. "Guys, what's going on?"

As if she weren't watching them, the two women shared a very conspicuous, 'we've got a secret,' look before turning to face her.

"Just go home, JJ, ok," Emily said. No more excuses, apparently, just a direct order. Something was most certainly up.

And, with that, the two women left abruptly, leaving JJ alone at the table.

She stared off at their retreating backs, thinking, What the heck just happened?

Shaking her head from bewilderment, she looked to her phone once again only to be disappointed. Still nothing. So, she sent another text to her husband.

**Hey, guess what? I can make the SKYPE call. Give me 20 minutes and I'll be able to log-on. See ya, then! JJ.**

JJ was determined to make tonight not a total bust.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think!<p>

I hope to have the next chapter up tonight (tomorrow at the latest).


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** And here's the second chapter. An M-rated chapter can be found on fanfiction . net; a more explicit version is on The Writer's Coffee Shop (both can be found under the same penname: Flames101). Rated for language and sexual content. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 2:**

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><p>JJ entered her house quickly, slamming the front door in her haste. She couldn't help herself; she'd probably broken ten different traffic laws on the way home from the restaurant, but she didn't care. All she wanted was to see Hotch.<p>

As she passed through her front foyer, the buttons on the front of her dress were popped open one by one. She'd bought new lingerie specifically for Valentine's Day and, one way or another, she was going to share the intimate piece with her new husband.

JJ slipped the dress's straps off her shoulders, letting it cling precariously around her waist. The undressing revealed a red lacy bra that didn't leave much to the imagination.

She hurried through the house, rushing for their office, where her laptop was kept. JJ had no idea how much downtime Aaron had—for all she knew, they'd missed the boat tonight—but she wasn't about to waste a second of their time.

Almost there, she stopped in her tracks when she heard noises coming from somewhere inside the house. The kitchen, she thought.

_What the—_she thought haltingly. The boys were staying with her mother for the weekend. The house should have been completely empty, save herself.

In a split second, she made a list of everyone who had a spare key to their home and their likelihood in being over currently.

Rossi; nope, he was in Italy, wining and dining his latest conquest.

Garcia; she had just left her at the restaurant. She wouldn't have followed JJ home.

Reid; not him either, he was at a physics conference in New York.

_Who could it be?_

Off duty, her gun was upstairs, locked away in their home safe. Still, she needed some kind of weapon if she was going to confront the obvious intruder. Looking around the family room she'd stopped in, her eyes scanned the room for potential. They landed on the decorative set of fireplace tools that she secretly hated.

Picking up the poker, she gave it a quick test, swiping it through the air; it'd have to do, she decided.

Slowly, JJ tiptoed towards the kitchen, poker held in front of her like a bat. She took a moment, freeing one of her hands, to pull up a single strap of her dress—she didn't want to look completely indecent as she took the intruder out.

One, two, three, she was close enough to the dividing wall's entrance to poke her head around. Still, she waited, adrenaline pumping, urging her to do the opposite. She wanted to listen, looking for any sign that it might be, on the slim chance, someone friendly.

JJ heard the clatter of pots and pans, the running of water. Whoever it was they were doing the dishes. A moment later, the water turned off and she heard the sound of footsteps moving around the kitchen. She held her breath, waiting, wondering if she was about to be caught, even though she was the one who was supposed to be doing the catching.

More sounds flitted towards her, they were hard to discern. She thought maybe she heard the soft scrape of a spoon against the bottom of a pan. The intruder was… cooking?

But the one sound that decided it, that it wasn't, in fact, a burglar, but someone very near and dear to her heart was the humming. Someone was humming the tune of Usher's You Got it Bad.

JJ's eyes lit up, remembering the look of bewilderment on Hotch's face when he'd opened his Christmas present from the boys this past holiday and found the old CD. JJ had later explained that Henry and Jack had pooled their money together and found the CD in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart. They'd been so proud of themselves that, of course, Hotch had listened to it more than once. And so he'd gotten into the habit of humming the tunes around the house

_Aaron…Oh God, _she silently prayed. _Please let it be him, please._

There was only one way to find out if God had answered her silent plea.

Heart pumping, she counted to three before she popped around the corner, entering the kitchen.

Her eyes were immediately drawn to everything and nothing at once. From the kitchen table, covered in chocolates, candy, a vase of roses, and a small box long enough to contain a bracelet or necklace. To the counters covered in pre-chopped ingredients to what looked to be her favorite Vietnamese vermicelli dish. And finally, to the man standing at the stove, stirring away at something, back to her.

JJ would know that crisp dark hair, cleanly cut, anywhere. The strong line of his back, covered in sleek black fabric—God, she loved him in a black dress-shirt!—beckoned her fingers for a caress.

Oh, how she loved this man.

She must have made a sound, because the next thing she knew he was facing her. His eyes as full of love for her as her heart for him. He had a smile on his face as he appraised her from head to toe; it quickly turned into a smirk as he took in her state of undress.

And then he was staring at the poker. JJ hadn't realized she was still holding it until his eyes landed on it.

"JJ," he murmured. Oh, it was so good hearing his voice in person. "I scared you; I'm so sorry. I only meant to surprise you."

His concern for her was what got the lead out of her feet. Dropping the poker, she made a mad dash towards him, throwing herself against his body. He caught her with a surprised 'oof,' but he still held her close.

"No," she said urgently. "I'm fine, I'm just—I'm so glad you're here. I missed you."

"I missed you, too—"

She should have probably have let him explain, but she was already pulling his head down to meet her lips before he finished.

JJ kissed him hard, relishing in the feel of his mouth solidly against hers. Lips moving frantically in an attempt to catch up on all they'd missed the past month.

She pulled back only to focus on unbuttoning the shirt she liked so much.

"Where have you been?" One button down.

"I can't say, JJ," he answered, pressing a heated kiss to her right cheek.

She savored the touch for a moment before asking, "Do you have to go back?" Another button undone.

He cupped her face with one hand, slowing down her jerky movements. His eyes stared into her own. She could see the regret in them before he even spoke. "Yes. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

She let out a sad sigh, but nodded resolutely. This was the job. She, more than anyone, understood that.

With a little more dexterity, she finished off the last of his buttons. JJ let her hands run along the length of his torso, reveling in the hot skin she'd uncovered. Enjoying the little hiss of breath he let out in pleasure.

Pushing the shirt off his shoulders, she pressed her lips to the skin over his heart, lingering. She took a deep breath, asking, "How long do we have?"

"We've got tonight," he said, voice husky with emotion.

This assignment wouldn't last forever, she knew. Still, she would make the most of the time they had together. She'd show him just how much she loved him.

JJ kissed him again, letting her hands go around his back, needing to touch every inch of him. All she wanted was to feel him, skin to skin.

Hotch must have been a mind reader, because he broke away from the kiss only to slide the dress down her body, letting it join his previously discarded shirt.

He pulled her to him once again, grabbing her ass, squeezing, before he hefted her up the length of his body. She wrapped her legs around his waist, getting closer to his heat.

They reached the bedroom in seconds. Hotch sat down on the edge of their bed, bringing her down with him, perched in his lap. She resumed the kiss, letting her tongue slide in to entwine with his.

JJ could feel him stiffening beneath her. She ground her hips down on him over and over again, increasing the frenzy of the moment.

"JJ," Hotch growled out between kisses.

Without warning, she slid off his lap to the floor before him. Eyes locked on his, she reached for his belt buckle, releasing it with practiced ease. Next came the button and zipper. All the while his eyes got darker and darker with desire for her. His breathing was already coming in short spurts from anticipation.

Hands going to the waistband, she took a firm hold and tugged while he lifted his hips off the bed. Both pants and underwear pooled at his ankles, freeing him from his confines.

JJ didn't waste any time. She grasped him around the base, pumping him a few times before she began to rhythmically stroke him; up, then down, and back again.

A few moments later, she let go. Putting her hands on his thighs instead, she leaned forward and took him into her mouth, wanting to taste him.

"Oh God," she heard him groan.

She looked up to see that he had his head thrown back, a look of pure ecstasy on his face.

She swirled her tongue around his tip, tasting him, before giving a hard suck. "Fuck," he gasped. "That's it… so good, baby."

JJ mentally grinned. She loved this, loved that she could send her normally controlled husband over the edge. Loved that she was probably the only one on earth who could do so.

She continued to suck him hard. He was close and she was more than ready to accept his load.

"Fuck," he swore again. "JJ, I'm… I'm close. I… I…"

The fact that he couldn't form a coherent sentence meant he was just about done. So it surprised her when the next thing she knew he was pulling away from her mouth.

She looked up at him, pouting. He was panting for breath and had just enough to say, "I want you, JJ."

Hotch took her hands in his pulling her back up on the bed. He made quick work of her bra, releasing her breasts to his wandering hands. One cupped and squeezed at one breast, while the other flicked a thumb over her hardened nipple.

Laying her back against the pillows, he trailed a path of heartwarming, gentle kisses across her torso.

He swirled his tongue around one hard nipple before sucking it gently into his mouth. JJ let out a little mewl of approval, arching her body into his touch. She held him there, letting him work his magic until the building ache in her core was just too much to ignore.

"Aaron, _please_," she pleaded.

He left her breasts, sitting back, instead. The matching red, lace panties came off next. Hotch pushed her legs apart, bending low. Before she knew it, his tongue was there, plunging into her.

"Yes," she breathed out.

He set a steady rhythm of licking and sucking that had her grasping at the sheets underneath her. And when his lips closed around the little bundle of nerves, she just about lost it.

"Fuck, yes," she gasped out. "I need you, Aaron. Fuck me!"

Her husband didn't hesitate, as eager for release as she was. He straddled her body, their eyes locked; she felt him, hard between her legs. She lifted her hips up to meet him as he thrust down and into her. Their combined groans shook the room. JJ held onto his arms, grounding herself, as he fucked her hard.

"Yes, yes," she moaned. "Aaron…"

He leaned down and captured her lips with his, kissing her deeply as his hips continued to piston her to the bed.

With every thrust, she felt him rub deliciously against her, taking her higher and higher. She was about ready to come.

"Oh… Aaron, I'm so close…" she murmured. "Come with me, baby…"

She reached between their thrusting bodies, squeezing one of his sacs. "Shit!" he swore, caught off guard, jerking into her hard. She didn't stop, and soon she felt him tense under her hand. "Yes, fuck… I'm coming."

He pushed into her once, twice, three times and she came right along with him.

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><p>JJ lay on her stomach, head cradled in her hands as she watched her husband get dressed. She let out a content sounding sigh. She felt good; better than she had in months. She only wished she could bottle this feeling up; uncork the bottle when she felt as frustrated as she had today. Sadly, that wasn't possible.<p>

As if reading her mind, Hotch bent down, kissing her. "It won't be long now," he assured.

She lifted herself up on her elbows, the cover slipping down her back; already the room felt chilly and he hadn't even gone yet. "Are you safe?" she asked, worried all of the sudden.

He gave her a small smile. "I'm all right."

Still, she bit her lip with concern. Her undercover mission hadn't gone so well. It had come back to bite her in the ass actually. She shuddered, remembering how she was tortured.

_No,_ she told herself. _Not tonight._ She would not ruin a perfectly good night with bad memories.

Hotch came to sit on the edge of the bed, obviously sensing that she didn't quite believe him. "It's dangerous, I won't lie to you. But, I'm handling it. And we're close to getting it done."

She nodded, yielding. "Ok. Just be careful. I don't know what I'd do if you… if you… You know?"

"I know. I love you, JJ."

"I love you so much."

They shared one last kiss before he had to be off.

It was sometime later, when JJ was able to tear herself out of bed, that she texted Garcia and Emily: THX GUYS! UR THE BEST!

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><p>Thoroughly engrossed in the fact that Kevin was now holding a can of whip cream, Garcia still heard the beep of her cell phone sitting on her night stand. Actually, she'd been listening all morning with half an ear, waiting for the message JJ was sure to send her.<p>

Eagerly, she reached for the phone, still able to grab it even though her boyfriend was straddling her body.

"Seriously Penelope?" Kevin questioned, sounding put out.

She barely spared him a glance; instead, waving a hand for him to get on with it. "Shush, whip cream, go!" she ordered.

He let out a sigh, but did as told; cold, thick foam suddenly coated her tummy.

Reading the message, she smiled gleefully. _It worked!_ she thought, happily. If anyone deserved a bit of happiness it was her best friend and Boss-man. She was just so glad they'd figured out they belonged together.

Needing to spread her joy, she dialed Emily's number quickly, ignoring Kevin's not-sex related groan. She listened to the ringtones, counting, wondering if she was about to be sent to voicemail. _Seriously, what is she doing?_

"_Ugh,_ Garcia, I'm a little busy here—" Emily finally picked up, voice sounding a little strained.

"Did you see JJ's message?" she cut her off.

Garcia waited for a response, hearing some pretty labored breathing coming from the other end.

"That's… nice. We did good," Emily said.

"We so did good!"

"Ok, see you, Penelope!" the brunette groaned out.

"Wait!" she tried to get her attention, wanting to gush some more.

Instead, there was the sound of a scuffle on the other end and Garcia thought she heard Emily whisper yell, _"Derek, no!"_

_Derek? Oh my…_ Garcia's cheeks turned pink, imagining what she'd just interrupted.

"Baby girl," came his voice on the other end.

"Derek?" she squeaked out.

"_Derek?"_ Kevin echoed, stopping what he was doing.

"She said she was busy. Now, bye!"

"Ok, bye." Garcia giggled into the phone, hurriedly adding, "Happy Valentine's Day!"

She dropped her phone back onto the nightstand, smiling; pleased at how everyone was with who they were supposed to be. It really was a happy day for all.

"Morgan? You called Morgan while we're having sex?" Kevin asked incredulously.

"No, I called Emily. Derek just happened to be there," she said, smirking.

"Oh," Kevin responded. "_Oh!" _Realization hit.

She waved a hand in front of her. "Now, get back to it."

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><p>That's it for this story. Hope you enjoyed!<p>

Thanks to everyone who read the last chapter and double thanks to those who reviewed**: criminal mind; Lexie4MP; Abby** _(lol);_ **Canny bairin; livingvicariously75; BAUMember; JJmyst; Guest** _(hope to update one or the other very soon);_ **and DracoMalfoysSweetGirl96** _(hey, longtime no see, hope all is well!). _

Thanks for reading! Hope you'll let me know what you think.


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